NOSTOS

by Otium

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07:17
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06:25
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05:16
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credits

released July 4, 2016

Written, Recorded, Performed, and Mixed by Otium
Final Mix by Geoff Strasser
Mastered by Sarah Register

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Otium 北九州市, Japan

"Memory is the star in which we used to wish, the dream we lose after waking, the key we hold but cannot turn."

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Track Name: New Flesh
Up there
those diamonds,
are all alone
for eternity,
all that buzzing
static,
makes my skin disintegrate in the air.
so take me to your house,
to the basement,
where your skins are found.
I’m shaking,
so put me to sleep.

_______________


Here comes the new flesh
starting to mushroom out
the whispers to turn to shouts
now we laughing jay
and i’m glad that you're around
somehow it’s more profound
let’s walk outside
to where cars are blood-cells of the road
tonight

While we are dancing
and the fireworks explode
I start feeling so old.
Now i am crying out for my innocence
to rise
but it’s only loneliness I find.
“come lay in the grass and i’ll listen to you as the night goes past”

Maddie my mother is taking care of me
I’m just an infant,
in a bad dream.
Scott you have gone blind from rolling in the light.

John is pensive,
sitting on the truck,
being the lonely moon
and Jolene you’re coming
to pick me up and
put me in your crystal room
and she was right ,
about her basement where those
skins are found
I’m shaking
so put me to sleep.
Track Name: The Wind
Did you know?
The Wind is silence,
is silently silencing?
Less your ears hear it hissin
Less the buildings start to groan
Less the trees leaf it thrashing
Less the mountains start to moan
Less the windchime
in its purpose
shows the ghost in its throne.

Buried with care,
I was scattered,
I was cut like a curl,
Blown by The Winds
a harlequin
of a memories timeless tattering,
yet my dreams
are different things than us
unconscious and unmanageable.
I can't help the way
my feelings bosom bleed into the tangible.
I'm split so you know,
split so you
know, split
so you know,
you know,
you know

Oh Margot

Come Margot, or Meghan, come kitten,
my love
Where are you,
my memory; a pale woman's hug
I see you
in the shower while I'm singing you songs
And you're laughing
and you're smiling
as you try
and sing along

And you know that I'm scared,
of the next day,
Of not seeing you
warm,
in the doorway where you'd let me in.
you sneaking kiss
I'd grab you with my weary arms
my dreamy dawn
my still life
my still love
where did you go,
where did you go?

go.
go.
go.

Oh Margot.

Meet me where I met you
in the triangle park,
hop the fence between
our first kiss
and ill take you for a walk,
you'll see me the next morning
ill be groggy and
bare
and then your roommates will leave you
without a bedroom
to share

So I'm taking you in,
for this beginning,
And while the moments did pass
well the memories came
some merrily made and easily unavoidable
the meaning was late
its the saddest
of fates
cause happiness is unacknowledgeable,
a confusing escape
in both the ways
of holding on and letting go.
Im letting go
im letting go,
go.
go.

Im so sorry

Oh Margot
Track Name: Out Here On My Own
Who is that wisper in?
Sounds like a child singing
something
but where on earth is it coming from?
Cause i’m out here on my own
Cause i’m out here on my own
Cause i’m out here on my own
my own

Here I am
a starved foolish man
but you’re hearing my words all wrong

In vain I complain
to myself
The Pages Printed
but they’re just laying there
on the shelf
are they pulling you up
or letting you down?
Are they your friends or just part
of the crowd

Tell me you’ll miss me
that you’ll still think of me as family
and when the day comes
i won’t be saying
that i’m out here on my own.
am i out here on my own?
am i out here on my own?
my own.

There you are
a line in the song
but i’m hearing your words all wrong

Am I just a thorn in times side?
to be plucked out
annoyed
and causally laid aside
or am I a rock
that's bending the stream
either way
i’ll be worn to dust
eventually.
Track Name: Delzetta
it’s in the agates scattered glowing in the drive,

that trails past the mutton and star

to where i’d dream in the jay trees i’d climb

then muse at milk thistles growin' long in the blinds,

amongst the rolling wind that caused the corn fields to sing with the...

Peek the mason jars lined against the wall

in the basement where Delzetta would sew

running through the old family bus

that’s curled with ivy and littered with rust

in the cement of the barn
that pens the pigs and their sows
we’d pet all the cat’s kids with our toes,

What is this dream?
What is this dream?
What is this dream i’ve had in which
i’m always sad when it’s over?

it’s in the lone tree that stands amongst the corn,

in the sheep's call and the cocks early horn,

is the emptiness: a memory, a child.

In the wrinkles of the shallows
In the bulbous and the wild.

Lid your cobalt eyes and breathe the air
of your child that sees strength in your motherly mind.

What is this dream?
What is this dream?

What is this dream i’ve had in which
i’m always sad when it’s over.
Track Name: The Crystal Pixel
Come and play
The quartz says to me as I cross my legs
next to the tv screen, so excited
Grainy cathode rays.
My eyes are gleaming
with the starlight
pixels of a video, dream

But who is this I'm remembering?
In those different skins,
I find it sometimes in that twinning thing
always unbidden
Still find it in the cracks of

The Crystal Pixel

The light is getting late,
The game becomes his life
becomes the boy
becomes the one being,
Played. forced sousveillance.
Who's to ever say?
That our ties to conscious life
aren't really lies to keep us
finding out that
we're sitting there in that predawn lair.

But who is this I'm remembering?
In those different skins,
I find it somehow in that twinning thing
always unbidden
Still find it in the cracks of

The Crystal Pixel

"In the waking world someday thou may recall
this island that memory must be the real dream world
Come on let us awaken together”
Track Name: Motions of a Life
Motions
Motions of a Life

Motions
Motions of a Life

As a child
so innocently exploring,
the world had a mystery you hope to regain
in growing up we lose
all of these

Motions
Motions of a Life

It’s the slow change
that makes us forget that
were aging,
while memories are photos
so slowly degrading ghosts
between all these

Motions
Motions of a Life

I bet you know what your reaping
but i wonder what you sow
it’s something that your giving
off
that something's a shadow

the shallow movement of the tides,
a seamless dancer of time,
it unwinds
The fallow bellows of the night
are breathing
the destiny of your life,
of your life reprised
Track Name: The Night Mirror
When you wish upon a star
in late night reveries,
others are wishing too,
on your star,
but don’t feel down,
the dream you’ve bound to future memories
are still unfolding child,
the stars they are connecting all of you
to an immovable
luminous
truth,
feel your coming youth.

The crickets pulse
the night wakes up
a child in it’s eyes, looking skyward.
to Dahn
the infinite on wishing lips
he wispers to the spark
“let it bind me,
and i’ll go blindly stepping into the dark.


The pinprick in the velvet sends
a dreaming ray of light
to his bedroom, the boy in my life.
The curtains part
his hairs stand up
the windows open wide lets the breeze in
as he’s sleeping
the boy goes off
floating into the night.
magically, absurdly,

Orion!

Waking.
Where am I where's my bed?
A needle's point
is poised
above my arm again
Feeling.
Like I've done something wrong.
Yet I feel strangely proud,
as my head it starts
to fog.
Facing.
A face I thought I knew,
but it's empty,
of the hearth
behind its eyes of blue.
Strapped up.
As the walls they peel away,
I'm high above the world I love,
the friends I've left
are saved from me.
be.